post.11.

this week, my hours were cut at work – severely cut – so cut, in fact, that i had three whole days to do absolutely whatever i wanted. i didn’t have any extra-curricular activity-type commitments, and school hadn’t started yet. my roommate was home, and i was all alone. alone and free – free to do whatever i pleased; to write and read and sing and dance and cook and put together puzzles. i was free to bask in the beauty that is silence. i was free to exist in my pajamas only for thirty-six hours, but only if i wanted to. i was free to take an infinite amount of naps, and sleep in as late as i wanted – or i didn’t have to sleep at all. the couch and my blankets became my best friends, and if i didn’t feel like dealing with the mountains of laundry that a month on the road tends to accumulate, i didn’t have to (and in case you were wondering, that mountain did indeed go untouched).

for the first time all month, i got to focus on me. i prayed a lot, and watched my plant – denise, i have named her. i painted my fingernails and then re-painted them later. i plucked my eyebrows and shaved my legs and took a thirty minute shower. i drank tea and watched old movies i’d been wanting to see. it was a beautiful, beautiful time.

it struck me too, in my time alone, that one of my first blog posts was about feeling lonely, feeling insecure with the idea of solidarity. isn’t it amazing then, that only a month later i am reveling in exactly that? praise god, hmm?

january 2012 has opened my eyes entirely, to new worlds, new individuals, new ideas and as corny as it sounds, a new me – a me who loves who she is and everything she is about, a me who isn’t afraid to fly it solo, and more importantly, a me who isn’t afraid to fly at all.